Self-respect is crucial to self-care because it protects you from settling for less when you deserve the best. This is toxic to how you view yourself and how you allow others to treat you, your values and your boundaries. If you allow others to trample over your expectations constantly, you’re debasing your worth and your self-esteem. You might be afraid that if you have high standards for yourself, people might perceive you as a high-maintenance person and even abandon you in the process.
In fact, it’s probably a good thing that they do that and reveal that earlier during your important journey. At the end of the day, your opinion of yourself and what you deserve is all that truly matters to you in your life. Having high standards for yourself, your career and relationships protects you in the long-run. Think of some things that fall below your standards as bad experiences. You’re not getting what you need and want out of it, but the person on the other side is. It’s not worth the time and your energy if someone else is benefiting from the positive return.
Life is too short to waste your energy by allocating resources into goals that are not truly your own. Caring for yourselves means remaining authentic and recognizing your true passion. Don’t be pressured into picking a certain career path just because society says it’s the right one for you, don’t always settle for jobs just because they’ll pay the rent, don’t pursue a major just because of its financial rewards unless it’s something that really interests you.
Sometimes, you will have to do what you have to do in order to survive, but be sure you’re still looking for ways to improve yourself and progress to something better and something that represents your true self. Setting aside time to pursue your dreams is important because these are things no one can take away from you. You own the right to all your dreams and the ability to make them come true. At the end, it’s all about you, about your uniqueness, about your dreams!
The key is to still be practical, but also to be passionate. You were not meant to live this life doing just what is required to survive; you were meant to live life valuing your dreams. Don’t be afraid of failure, because failure is a learning experience that will strengthen you and prepare you to do better in the future. Would you rather sit around and live in the regret of not knowing what would’ve happened if you had tried or would you rather lead an exciting life by taking on risks and challenges that will ultimately lead you towards reaching your dreams. It’s never late to start living your dreams!
By Shabnam Khan, Family Counsellor at Semiahmoo House Society, s.khan@shsbc.ca
UNITI is the partnership of three affiliated societies that have provided important community services for decades. Semiahmoo House Society provides quality services and supports to people with disabilities and their families in Surrey and White Rock. Peninsula Estates Housing Society provides affordable and inclusive housing that reflects the diversity of our community. The Semiahmoo Foundation assures that UNITI has the recognition, relationships and resources to support an inclusive community. Together we’re stronger!